Saying goodbye to you is crippling and I don’t if I’ll ever see you again because I know that tomorrow you’re going to wake up and question what I mean to you.
I want to be good enough for you and every part of me is striving to be that
I remember not being able to feel. Being so emotionally numb that I had just turned the feelings off.
And now, my emotions have intensified, so much so it’s crippling. Every part of me feels weak with the pain that is caused and all I want to do is turn it off.
But I know I’m stronger than that. I will be okay. I will get through it. I can do it.
I’ve been preparing myself for the downfall of us because I know it’s coming some day soon.
But who am I kidding, nothing can prepare me for the roar of emotions that will overwhelm me. I’m not as strong as I think I am, my walls will crumble and I will sink low, once again.
You made me feel at ease and I let you see the vulnerable side of me. You have the potential to break me. Please don’t.
Then I was reminded of who I am and I couldn’t breathe.
Sobbing and alone I realized that regardless of what he did or how made me feel I would always love him.